so there i was, being a capable, independent, adult!

oh, scoff if you will, but it is totally true. i apologize for my long and, im sure, sad, absence from the blogosphere. i am back now and i will try try try to update more often. right now though, i am going to tell you all the goings on that have prevented me from writing! huzzah! let's begin our epic journey, shall we?

 i've been in the process of moving. i now have my own cozy little place in the big bad city and it is all mine and i EFFING LOVE IT!! it is a little studio with a totally decent kitchen and a big bathroom and i  have everything exactly the way i want it. it is truly amazing. but there was a little hitch, you see, with the move in and the move in date. i had to have it pushed up because...well because the guy that ran the last place i was living, albeit *not* on the lease, was a total douche. kind of reminded me of this guy

 except that landlord guy was not NEARLY as funny. all the deets you need are that there was a maintenance issue that was abosultely, *completely*, and TOTALLY not my fault {i promise. not just being bitter} and he blamed me for it , made one or two unkind comments as regards to my character, and gave me 'ten days to get out.' so then i was all stressing out and junk and i had to move my stuff out early and it was a huge pain, but fortunately, not only did i have my mom, but someone *else* to help me. which brings me to 

 {number two, get it?!}

yea, i have a boyfriend. and the reason i am putting him in the middle and wont be saying much, is that i dont want to be the girl that gets all gushy, and also, its not reeeeeally any of the internet's business. my friends will ask if they want to know, but otherwise, here is all you get. ahem; he is totally wonderful and perfect and helped me out so much during the whole moving fiasco. the other reason that this is remarkable {in that i am remarking upon it now} is that i havent had a boyfriend in about 5 years and for the guy i like to like me back and for things to work out for me this way is completely unheard of in my previous experience. i am very, very happy. im happy kind of like this;

but, all silly gushing aside, i am quite happy with how the personal part of my life is going. which brings me now to the *next* thing that has been monopolizing all my time!

ps i chose that as number three because it is one of my favourite games of all time and one of the best game sequels i have ever played yay! but, yea, moving on! my job. i am still at the science center, which is totally rad. tear down for star wars is done this week, i think i have two or three days more maybe before that cash cow is dry. but its cool, because i start right away doing guest services for the science center, which is pretty cool! yay having a job! but just because i am employed does not mean that i will not be looking for other employment. this job may not be permanent, and will probably only *just* cover rent bills and living. however, unless someone is going to start paying me for my acting {ahem, thats kind of  the goal btw} it is really hard to look for a second job that will have the flexibility to let me audition for things. now, thats not to say that i *havent* been auditioning for things. i have. in fact, i did today and i feel really good about it, but it doesnt pay. and im thinking of getting an agent because i feel like that will help me get things that actually pay. but i refuse to give up what i love, while at the same time, need to pay rent. lol. ooooh, first world problems. 

anywho, i have to go because i still have more things i want to do on my productive day off today! and some of that includes cooking dinner and playing music ^_^ so yea, look for a video soon hopefully! i love you, beautiful world out there! have this glorious grand finale as a token of my love and gratitude for your time and indulgence ^_^

and, i leave you with this wisdom and the assurance that i will not be away so long this time :-3

'im afraid that once your heart is involved it all comes out in moron.'

cheers!

~*~

DFTBA

flying to the farthest reaches of the universe.....

at work. 

yeeeeeah, i work at Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination, and that basically means that i get to play in space ships and make little kids' dreams come true all day. also, the grown ups are really loving this exhibit because, well, they've had a little over thirty years to really love star wars. here is where i spend most of my time:

yea. that's the millennium falcon cock pit.

anywho, if you get the chance or are in the seattle area, you should stop by the science center and check out the exhibit. it is totally amazing. 

TOTALLY. 

in other news, i have taken up swing dancing again. sunday before last, a friend asked me to go swing dancing with him, and i thought to myself 'SELF. you haven't swing danced in like, THREE YEARS! you should TOTALLY go!' 

so i did. 

and then we went again this weekend and it was even more awesome because i wasn't as out of practice. there's this really great place on capitol hill and now i have at least one fun thing to look forward to each weekend. 

^_^

in not so fun news, last week i got sicker than i think i have EVER been. i will spare you the horrifying details {of which there are many} but suffice to say, i have never been in as much pain in my ENTIRE. LIFE. as i was those two days. it was awful. and apparently it's going around and wasn't just me because a ton of people i know and a ton of people they know are also getting this weird stomach thing. 

wash. your. hands. folks. 

seriously.

weird things that look like this

are crawling all over stuff right now. 

and they want you dead.

next on my list of goings on:

RED VS BLUE.

i cannot stop watching it. i am finally on season six, and i am SO into it that i might watch them all again. my brother and my sister in law turned me on to it and i never started watching it and now that i finally have i find it nearly impossible to stop. it is simply too hilarious. 

i highly recommend it to EVERYONE. 

even if you aren't into halo or gaming. just really, really funny writing. 

and last, but not least, an update in two parts.

part one, i made some business cards. 

this is directly linked to part two:

part two is that someone i met at eccc has just commissioned me to do five pom pom hats for her and so i think that when i ship them i am going to send a couple of cards with so that when people ask where she got the awesome hats from, she can just be like '/shwip here's her card.'

it's all very cool and smooth in my head. 

soooooooooooooo, that's about all i think. sort of a shortish blog and instead of leaving you with only a bit of wisdom, i also offer a related picture. 

au revoir lovely folk!

until next time.

'Han. Shot. First. End of F***ing discussion.' C-

cheers!

~*~

DFTBA

being awesome at ECCC....

oh yes. 

emerald city comic con. 

it was pretty much the best weekend of all time.

there is a lot to cover and it is getting quite late, especially for one who has to work at zero eight hundred {yeesh}, so here i go!!

basically what happened was a friend of mine was able to get me a sweet three day pass so i could go and i paid the thirty bucks and whatever it was totally not a big deal. and then, on thursday {the day before the con} my bruv asks me, 'oh my god, red, can you please work we need hands oh geez!' 

so i totally say yes, no big deal as long as i get to have some regular attendee time too, which he says is totally doable {and was btw, there is no big dramatic story there or anything even though i kind of set it up like there would be. there isn't}.

so it's friday and i get to leave a bit early from work and i head home to change and whatever and then i hoof it as fast as i can to the convention center and check in and not two seconds after i had set down all my shit, i am sent out to line control. yea, they put me in charge of JAMES MARSTER'S line....

SQUEEEEEEE!

{i'll be doing a lot of that during this blog, btw. get used to it}

so basically, they are all like, 'you wont probly get to meet him or anything, you are just keeping his line under control'. 

FALSE.

turns out friday is a new thing for eccc, and so not a ton of people were there, and so when my line died down and i wasn't really doing anything, i TOTALLY went up and met him and shook his hand and got to tell him how wonderful i thought he was and how much i loved his work and he was so kind. he told me he loved my hat and we chatted for a bit and he was incredibly gracious and sweet. {in fact, everyone that i love that i met was everything that i had hoped that they would be!} he gave me the best hand shake ever and i made it all the way back to the end of the line before i started to cry. yes, i cried like a bitty punk. and i am SO not ashamed. ^_^

the hand that shook james marster's hand.....

on friday i also met clare kramer and nicholas brendon form buffy {among other things} and as a result of this i got nick's publicist's card and they both {clare and nick} remembered me all weekend.

.....

SQUUEEEEEEE!!!

/happy dance!

nick shook my hand and was very kind and so was clare. both very chatty and sweet. 

SATURDAY:

saturday was a bit of a rampage. one might even call it a cluster fuck. there were about a zillion people there, and yet i was able to meet felicia day and amy okuda:

and wil wheaton:

{all of whom were SO awesome, btw}

but i also met darth maul:

and a very cute ewok {eli}

squeeeeeee!

also, because i was a minion {note the green eccc shirt} i got to work the lines in the afternoon and since i had already hit the floor upstairs {more on that later} i went back to media and helped with lines.

three words.

william. FUCKING. shatner.

home boy's ego sucks up all the air in the room, a of all. secondly, i have never seen anyone go through a line of autographs so fast in my entire life. man is a total machine. but after the insanity that was billy shat, i got to go hang with nick some more and a bit with felicia and amy. and nick, being the sweet heart that he is, gave me the BIGGEST hug {he hugs like a big teddy bear} but he totally let me and  my sis in law get our pic with him!!!

i didn't see anyone else getting their pic with him. just sayin. 

i was also able to meet jonathan frakes, who was a freaking laugh riot and not only shook my hand but totally gave me an epic solid fist bump. man is a legend {MAKE IT SO NUMBER ONE!}. also, spiner was super nice and gracious when i fangirled on him a little bit. they both were so silly and wonderful.

also, working the lines, you meet the coolest people. for instance, i met a fan who made this:

oh yea. that's a replica of the super stake from season seven of buffy which she uses to kill the uber vamps. i felt like SUCH a bad ass ^_^.

but enough about working! let's talk about playing in the showroom!

i got to meet two of my absolute favourite artists, jeff jacques and danielle corsetto. they each did drawings for me of my favourite characters wearing my pom pom hat. 

here is pintsize!

{he is totally naked under that hat}

and HERE is jamie!!!!

i felt positively sassy after this. she was so great and sweet and FUNNY! it was really awesome to be able to tell these artists how much what they say and create means to me. 

i also got to meet a bunch of great new people and see some old enforcer buddies from PAX. 

artist alley was truly incredible. i have rarely felt my own talent so tremendously dwarfed, but in the very best way! ^_^ 

to be around all of that art and talent was very humbling and enlightening. it inspires me to do more with my art and reminds me how much i truly enjoy and love my chosen career. 

on sunday, i was sent to work at the back door of the photo ops room by the green room where all the actors were. now, this was considered by those who had gone before me to be an immensely boring job. I, however, had a BLAST doing it. for some reason, all of the celebs were coming and going through that door and i got to say hey to clare again and jacqui, and flirted it up with nick a little {you had to be there....chorizo....} and i got to meet sean patrick flannery and norman reedus {the boondock saints} and it was totally the best post ever to be on at the end of the con. 

needless to say, i had a fricken GREAT weekend, and now i am totally exhausted and being up past zero hundred is really not helping and so i bid you adieu! thanks for listening to my story, and now that all the excitement is over, i can get back to blogging more regularly! ^_^ yay!

but for now, i leave you with this wisdom:

'Don't be a pawn in somebody's game. Find the attitude which gives you the maximum strength and the maximum dignity, no matter what else is going on.'

cheers!

~*~

DFTBA

sitting in my new place...

YES, GANG! my NEW place!!!!

i am living in seattle now! and let me tell you, brick haven {for that is what i have lovingly dubbed my new residence} is fucking AWESOME. it's like a five minute walk to my job and it's right near everything i could want or just a short walk from it. the thai place across the street is absolutely amazing and i literally can't think of anything bad to say about this place. it is perfect. and this is the view from my living room.

this place used to be a hotel back in the day and then i guess in like, 1910, they made it into little apartments and they are cute and there is exposed brick and BIG windows and just...they are awesome. OH! and bonus? POOL. there is one. and laundry is on site and cheap. i'm in heaven everyone.

the view from one of my bedroom windows {not a great pic, but whatever.} i can see a whole big section of the city. 

and one more indulgent photo of the view:

this is from the big window in my room. 

heaven.

 anywho, moving on...

tonight is the last night of harry potter the exhibition and i will be working the last 4 hours of it ^_^

everyone has been real cool and i am gonna miss the ones i wont see all the time anymore. but, alas, this is the way of things. they end. no big. 

feelin fly like it's quidditch.

and now i will be tearing it all down and helping set up for the next exhibit, which is, dun Dun DUN!!!

hell yes folks!

wish me luck because i totally applied to work at this and now that i live so close my life would e in better shape than it has been in years if i got this gig. it goes through may, giving me a chance to find other part time work if i have to till we move to los angeles. {which IS happening.}

anyway, im gonna go relax and have a small glass of wine before i go wrap up the exhibit and then stop in quickly at a party thing that's being thrown for it and then crashing so i can prep for six straight days of 08:00 to 17:00s. 

WOO!

good night lovelies, and expect me to talk about the hunger games trilogy. 

a lot.

and now i leave you with this wisdom:

"Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared."

~*~

DFTBA

being completely tore up....

as only good literature can do. 

so basically, i read the hunger games by suzanne collins like two months ago but then couldn't afford the next two so i have been agonizing about it ever since. HOWEVER, my mommy {being the awesome mommy that she is} bought the trilogy in hardback for my birthday.

....

SQUUUUUEEEEEEE!!!!

*ahem*

anyway, i read catching fire today and HOLY. SHIT. not only was it a completely amazing story, but started out on a high and just kept climbing. there was not a single boring sentence or an unimportant passage and there were moments when everything was so frustrating and unjust that i literally fell apart {in public no less, dear me!} crying for pages at a time, knowing that nothing could possibly improve the situation and that everyone is doomed and that all will end in sadness and death. 

and THEN! 

shit. goes. crazy. 

this is seriously so far one of the best trilogies i have ever read {i don't want to say best yet because i still have to read mockingjay, but it's becoming a real possibility}

i am so emotionally invested in these characters and torn just as much as katniss about the choices that she has to make and i want so badly for things to end well, but i just don't think they can, and if  they can, i am VERY excited to see how collins is going to bring it about because her writing can make whole worlds for me; worlds that have no possible way to exist and have seemingly no right to exist, but that are so real i can smell the coal and taste the salt and feel the pain of the people i am following. 

ugh. it all just makes me so frustrated that i can't stand it. i will probably plow through mockingjay tomorrow because i LITERALLY couldn't put this one down, i can only imagine how hard it will be with the final installment. 

so for now, all i can say is:

i am freedom in panem

moving on. 

HOLY CRAP THE COAST GUARD WAS ON THE FERRY TODAY.

whew. ok. let's elaborate a little. 

so i got on the boat and i was reading catching fire and i had my headphones in and i wasn't really paying attention to anyone or anything around me. however, when you are walking and reading and have a coffee in your hand, you gotta look up sometimes, right? right. so i do as i am walking onto the boat and i glance up to see a guy in like, a really weird bullet proof vest type vest watching us all board.

weird. 

but, what ever.

so i snipe out my favourite seat {we are back on the kaleetan and off the damn walla walla so i know where my seat is. BOOyah} and i sit down and i am reading {HELLA reading} and i am listening sort of vaguely to my 'i just wanna sing' mix, and all at once, about five minutes into our trip, i notice something a bit off. something that sort of makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up. i look up and there are four or five guys walking around all suited up and with gear and fuckin' m16's and shit and the reason that i got the uncomfortable feeling was because i could hear, through my loud headphones, the fact that everyone on the boat was silent. SILENT.

now, these weren't like crazy psycho killers or anything. it was the coast guard. but people are so quiet and nervous in the way that can only be caused by people walking up and down the rows with GIANT. FUCKING. GUNS strapped to them. doesn't always matter that they are 'good guys'. sometimes it just matters that you are completely impotent to do anything, anything to protect yourself should shit get out of hand. 

so that was MY commute this morning. and on my walk i just read the whole way so i got to work in what seemed like no time and didn't even get hit by any cars ^_^

that's all i really want to talk about at the mo'.

OH! except that if you need a roomie in seattle untill may, i would LOVE to be that person. contact me. SERIOUSLY.

and now i leave you with this bit of wisdom:

'Don't be a pawn in somebody's game. Find the attitude which gives you the maximum strength and the maximum dignity, no matter what else is going on'

cheers!

~*~

DFTBA

enjoying the days leading up to my birthday....

and i said to myself, 'SELF! you got some random ass stuff to talk about! AND how!' i suppose that a sort of list will have to be the order of the day or else i will forget something. so here goes {in arbitrary order}

1}batman rain slicker

2}people who use the words 'ironic' and 'angst' badly

3}where my blondie bear fixation started

4}stuff about my birthday

5}shows i'm into right now

6}shooting in my town

7}being a grown up

and 8} CRAFTS!! WOO!

let's fly, pigeon.

so there i was, by the quidditch pitch, looking for phones and making sure that no one is manhandling hagrid, when suddenly i see a little boy scurry by, followed closely by his mother, and wearing a truly amazing garment. 

sweet. funky. moses. 

it became immediately clear to me that should i ever wish my life to be complete, procuring this rain slicker must move up in the ranks of my priorities. i mean LOOK at it!! it's got a little cape and abs and a utility belt and EVERYTHING!! i just want to go out and not only fight crime, but romp in puddles in this thing. so i spent a good deal of the next hour trying not to stare at this little kid, enviously coveting his coat, and looking forward to the time when i could go home and look them up. because that is how i do. and guess what terrible news awaited me on my quest? GUESS!

....

they only come in little boy sizes. 

my heart, was truly crushed. 

i'm not saying it was argentina crying for eva peron or anything, but yes, i was pretty bummed out. also, guess what else i can't get because i am not a six year old?

man, being a grown up suxorz.

on to numero dos!

now, i get peeved easily when people use the wrong words. or use words in the wrong context. or completely don't know what a word REALLY means, but pepper their speech with it so that they sound smart {you don't by the way}. the two words that i hate the most being used poorly are 'ironic' and 'angst' especially when it gets made into 'angsty'. 

just kill me.

first of all, i usually bottle up this righteous indignation and save it for later, which i guess is now, so that i don't seem like a know-it-all douche bag. but i would like to treat you all now to the definition of the word 'angst'. 

*Angst - "neurotic fear, anxiety, guilt, remorse"

*the dread caused by man's awareness that his future is not determined but must be freely chosen

*a feeling of dread, anxiety, or anguish  

ANGUISH people. A.N.G.U.I.S.H. 

serious moral, ethical, mental pain caused at once by one's own insignificance and the knowledge that no one will be helping you on this bumpy road called life.

not, 'oh that moody teen is so angsty', or 'nothing, im just feeling sort of angsty.' 

{note: angsty is not a word. stop saying it}

also, if you are wanting to apply this word to theatre, which is what i do because the theatre is what i study and do and love, angst means 'the desperate desire for that which one can never have.'

heavy. shit. 

give it some respect people. don't just throw it around like it means nothing, or eventually, it will mean nothing. 

as far as 'ironic' is concerned, i feel like i have already filled my pretentious jerk quota for the day, so i will simply direct you to this video. there is a lot of good information here, and i seriously hope that you take it to heart. language needs to be respected and cherished and upheld as one of our primary forms of communication. let's not destroy our language, alright kittens?

shall we move on?

excellent.

so tonight, after making the executive decision to not watch the next episode of buffy with my mom, lest she go to bed TERRIBLY depressed {i'm nearing the end of season six, so, you know}, i decided to put the labyrinth on until she went to bed so i could watch dollhouse and not spoil it for her because she isn't caught up. as i was watching, i realized something that had never occurred to me before. 

first, let me make something very clear:

this was the first man that i can remember ever having a crush on that included tummy buterflies and the desire to kiss him. {tmi? don't care}i was very young when i saw it, but i can remember distinguishing this crush from others, including those i may have had on real people i knew {like brandon}.

to put it simply, i was in love with jareth, the goblin king. 

the six foot something bad blond paragon played by the truly scrumptious david bowie. 

now what i realized this evening was  that this is where my love for the tall blond bad boy came from. it went straight from here to billy idol {who i would still totally do} and from billy to spike {rowr} and then from spike to draco malfoy. and the draco thing was even before the later movies when he took the form most people recognize. i am talking about what i made up in my head from the descriptions in the books.  long before the film actors got all growed up.

anyway, it all started with my beautiful bowie as the tragically in love, yet truly bad king of the goblins; master of magics and ruler of all his domain. also, he can contact juggle. {not bowie of course, but jareth can} and if you don't know what contact juggling is or you haven't seen this movie {in which case, GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW BEFORE YOU SPEAK TO ME AGAIN} here is a video of what contact juggling is. it is pretty much the tits. 

anyway, it is a bit strange to me that i never thought of this before, but now that i know, it sort of makes all kinds of sense, and i fell like maybe there is something to it. but that is something i shall ponder and process in my own mind. ^_^

and now, on to thing number

woo!

my birthday is on thursday and i am pretty damn excited. basically, this whole week i am making about me and i am relaxing as much as possible. i will work a little, but not a ton and then, the festivities begin. while i wait, i hope that dk returns comes in the mail because i want to play it in a BIG way. it is totally fun. but on thursday i am doin the family dinner thang, and then friday i am having a small get together with some friends and then saturday after work i am kickin it with the cousin unit, who i totally dig because she is an awesome friend {yeah YOU ashley! ^_^}

i just hope that i don't party myself out too much because i have a voice acting audish on sunday {yay!} and i want to not suck ^_^

also, i am really excited about friday because my friend who is planning it has said something about a fantastic birthday surprise, and i cannot WAIT to know what that means!!!! {megaaan, i wanna knooooow!!!!}

numbuh fiiiive!

{note: i just put '5' into google. interesting stuff}

so i am into a couple of new shows right now. well, basically one new one, plus continuing on an old one. but the one that i really want to talk about is 

it is freaking. AMAZING.

i wont spend a ton of time on this because i want to watch one more episode and it is late and this is already getting long. buut i just freaking love how everyone on it plays so many parts so beautifully and how joss has outdone himself on the discussion of moral depravity and what is right and what is real and that he has used so many of his people, but also brought in new people who i have never known before, but now will hope to see in more whedon projects. people just keep cropping up and i freaking LOVE it. the story {i am on season two right now} is so crazy and strange and frightening and i am so terribly sad that this will be the last season. stupid fox network always canceling joss. did we learn nothing from firefly?! come on douche-bags.

gah.

ok, moving on.

{also, i don't know what this ^ means} 

on a not so happy note, there was a shooting in my town. now i live in a pretty small town, low crime, low homeless rate, low everything {including fun, which has nothing to do with this}.my mom and were driving to jo anne's fabrics {yes. tease me i dare you} and to do that we passed the wal mart where we saw about ten cop cars and the lanes to turn in were cordoned off and it all looked very ominous. i just assumed drug bust or some drunk guy {which we see, not often, but not never} and by the time we'd left jo anne's we found out that it was a shooting. two people got killed {including the shooter} and two deputies got injured. we might never know why it happened but if you are curious you can read about it here.

it was a way weird thing to have happen in this town because nothing ever really happens in this town and now people are in full paranoia mode. 

lets lighten things a bit, shall we kittens?

today, i made my very first college loans payment! woooo! being a grown up totally blows!! YAAAAY!

i don't want to dwell on this too hard. so i wont.

take THAT!

 eight. my favourite number ^_^

i am doing HELLA crocheting and knitting right now. i just got a folio for all of my needles and hooks and stitch markers and things and even have a big old yarn bag. WOO! in fact, i am making a blanket. i have never made something as big as a blanket before and i am sort of doing it because i want one {not that i need a new blanket, if you've seen my bed, you know this. i am a nester. i burrow. maaaany blankets.} but because i want to see if i can do it. if i can actually fucking finish something that i start. something that requires a certain amount of care, and love, and dedication. and since i don't really have anywhere or anyone else to put that towards {not a passive aggressive dig at myself. just an observation} then i will put those things into a project that i will love and use and cherish for a very long time to come. and if the boys are lucky, i might even share it ^_^ {the blanket, duh}.

 

YAY! we did it folks! we made it to the end. and now, alas, i must take my leave. i want to watch some dollhouse and i want to do some reading. but i will leave you with this wisdom on my way out:

'looks don't concern me maestro. only talent interests a woman of taste.'

.

cheers!

~*~

DFTBA

losing track of the days....

this is gonna be a really short little blurb until i have more time/something to write about that is actually interesting. basically, just wanted to let everyone know that i am alive and kicking {not puppies or anything, don't fret} and i am eagerly awaiting my birthday!
yes.
eight days ladies and gentlemen, and the super rock beezy that is me will be 23 years old.
for twenty three years i will have been rocking this earth and living the dream.
well, at least the first part ^_^
things are getting dreamier though. so that's pretty awesome.
anyway, that's all i wanted to say.
feel free to send me love and gifts {jk about the second part...kindof...no really. kidding....}
also, happy birthday wishes are always welcome.
but, now that my gleaming narcissism has had center stage for a moment, i shall bid you adieu!
i leave you with this wisdom happy readers:

'beauty without intelligence is a masterpiece painted on a napkin'

cheers,
~*~
DFTBA

finally recording and making art!

hey guys!!! i know that it's been about a week since i posted, but i have totally not been in a place to do the whole blogging thing. but nooooow, no i am here and ready to go! ^_^

so, here is a link to the awesome new song i just wrote and you should totally go check it out, because it is the first song that i have written and uploaded in months. it's been since the summer and i was going through this whole writer's block thing and was totally uninspired and i was so unhappy, but then, TADA! i got over it ^_^

so, i guess i will start at the pseudo beginning. i got to be an extra in a sweet short film that will hopefully be an opportunity to be paid in a full length film later down the line. no wait....that's not the beginning. 

THIS is the beginning:

my play date with nutmeg!! 

^_^

so basically i met her in seattle and we totally looked at clothes we couldn't afford and got delicious asian food and walked around the market to look at other things we couldn't afford and it was a total blast. and theeeeeen, south center mall. holy crapoly. i basically bought a bunch of awesome staples {clothing wise} and then we got food and then, holy shit, BLACK SWAN.

so, let's explore this insanity. spoilers if you haven't seen it skip ahead to the next picture ^_^ 

so basically this movie blew my mind in a big way. looking back i tried to dissect all the parts that might have just been natalie portman's hallucinations and which parts were real and did mila kunis even exist and what was the deal with the mom and oh yea, that awesome sex scene between natalie and mila  holy geez awesome. but yes, this movie was terrifying on a level that i did not expect and i literally had to physically unwind myself by the end. there were just all of these scary moments that were completely subtle and then TOTALLY not and i was just completely blown away by it and i want to see it again so that i can watch all the parts that happened knowing what i know now.

ok, rant officially over.

ok, new topic. i suppose that now i will move on to the whole extras thing. basically i got to rock out to punk music and be awesome and meet new people who were cool and see old faces from bellingham who i met through the senate which was a totally awesome band that unfortunately disbanded but it was alright because they totally had other avenues to explore. but yes, i totally got to do a whole lot of 'back to one'ing and a whole lot of 'quiet on set'ting and it felt really good to be doing that whole thing again.

but i suppose that the thing that i really want to talk about it reading. reading and imagination. {only kind of sorry about the whole non-sequitor thing} i am currently reading the seventh harry potter book and i just got past a part that was terribly sad right towards the middle and if you have read it then you know which part i am talking about. and i have read this book three times before and i still cried. and i didn't just cry but i sobbed. there were shoulders shaking and audible sobs and i could hardly continue reading because of my obscured vision. good times. 

and this isn't because i am some kind of simpering baby but because i have an incredibly vivid imagination and i form a strong attachment with the characters that i read about. and this really got me thinking.

i am so sorry for people who don't like to read or haven't given it a chance or that no longer use their imaginations. i was talking to someone recently and they got into a bit of a discussion {i don't want to say argument, even though it was probably more of an argument}about how movies are better than books. right away i had to check my righteous indignation. and then i started thinking {after i had chilled the fuck out} that this can't just be the opinion of one guy, but that there are many people out there that would rather have someone else create the world of a story visually for them rather than take the words that they are given to create the world in their own minds. this is something that i love to do because i get to have a hand in creating a while entire universe that, without my help, would never exist. yes the words are on the page and in the mind of the author, but without the reader, what is there? just words on a page. 

and when i encounter particularly well written stories, it makes no difference how many times i read them, i still have a physical and emotional response. 

reading is sexy and fun

now, this isn't to say that a good solid film wont do the same for me, because i LOVE to watch movies. it's just that when you read {or at least when I read} you get to create, which i think is the thing about reading that i love. you are taken on a journey and you get to be the co pilot, the navigator, whatever you want to be. and i don't think that there are many things more exciting than that. that feeling you get when you just know that something evil is lurking or that some incredible love is about to emerge or that some tragic death is just a moment away, when you are there, a part of the story, seeing it all happen in the ideal, perfect way that you imagined it. a movie is only a small group of people's interpretations of a novel, but this, no...this is all your own. 

this is all mine.

and i get incredibly passionate just thinking about it.

alas, now the hour grows quite late and i must take my leave. it has been a real treat to get all of this out and i hope that you found even some of it interesting. please, feel free to discuss movie vs novel or black swan or the movement of harmony through the universe or just anything you want with me in the comments. the next one will not be so long of a wait and probably not quite as long. 

and now, i leave you with this wisdom:

 

Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

cheers!

~*~

DFTBA

thinking about resolutions....

so basically, i, like everyone else in the freakin' world, made a few resolutions for new years.

for those of you who are not friends with me on facebook, here they are:

1.save enough money to actually move to l.a. (ohgodhelpplz?)

2.catch up totally on ncis and dexter.

3.lose thirty pounds.

4.be ok with being alone.

5.do voice acting for a legit project.

6.actually get to make art with my boys.

7.spend some real time with my girls.

8.own/begin a real grown person's wardrobe.

9.own/begin a real grown person's cosmetics set.

10.become a better cook.

11.start taking voice lessons again.

12.learn to sign {more}

13.keep my room clean for longer than two weeks.

14.start a new healthy relationship {not necessarily romantic}

15.make music more often.

16.finish at least two more scenes of my play.

that's obviously a lot of things to focus on. i suppose that what i could say, instead of all that, is that this year i am going to be even awesomer than i was last year {and no, i am not an idiot, i know that that is not a word. stuff it} which will be tough, but i have already begun. also, i have come to realization which i am sure you are glued to your seat with anticipation to hear. so why keep you waiting?

i have realized that it is not going to be enough to simply have all of these goals to live up to. everyone who knows me knows that i am awesome and we share a common awesomeness, and those who meet me generally fall into two categories: those who think i am awesome and want to hang, and those that don't. and to be honest i don't really lose much sleep over the latter. but, back to the epiphany here, before i digress further, as i am wont to do. these awesome alterations don't need to be huge or really even visible to anyone else. and today, was washing my face and i realized...'i don't ever wash my face before bed. this is an awesome change.' 

that's right folks. yesterday i was getting a new ice scraper for my mom's car and i was walking by the cosmetics aisle when i thought, 'i should get some face wash and i have some time to kill, i'll check out the make up too, just for fun.' now, don't think i'm some filthy heathen or something, i bathe daily and like to think i am pretty damn hygienic. but i will admit that i have some not great habits. for instance, until today and yesterday, i never really washed my face before bed, unless i showered before bed. something i was always just too lazy to do or didn't think about. but now, i am the kind of person who washes their face before bed.

thing number two that i have noticed {that was thing number one btw}. i am now the kind of person who flosses twice daily. oh don't give me that disgusted look, i use a sonicare twice daily and often brush after lunch. calm down, for goodness sakes. i just always used my sonicare as kind of an excuse to not floss. no longer, my friends. i floss now. take that!

thing three, i bought some nice grown up makeup and got rid of a bunch of stuff that really needed to be gotten rid of. so i guess that that is part of my resolutions taken care of, or at least started. i feel good about this, because even though i don't really wear a lot of make up or even wear it very often, i like knowing that mine is good quality stuff. 

thing four, i am the girl who no longer drinks soda. that's right folks, no more cherry cokes for this guy at lunch. however, one amendment to this is that i will still drink the occasional slurpee because i don't believe in telling yourself that you aren't allowed to do things all the time, and that the mind needs a reward instead of just hearing can't and don't and no all the time. for me, that occasional 'do it' is a mountain dew pina colada slurpee. 

whew.

ok

moving on.

so yea, these are just some things that i have noticed in the last few days and i think that if i am grown up enough already to have started making these positive choices without even really thinking about them too hard, then that list of resolutions is totally doable and i will become awesomer {shut up} by the day!

aaaaaanywho, in other news!

last night was my sister and her husband's birthday and we all went out to the clearwater casino. it was pretty ballin'.

i played this slot machine {well not this one exactly probably, but one identical to it} for a little over an hour and i totally made my money back plus ten bucks! well, actually, ok, here's how it went. so, my mom paid for dinner because it was two for one at the buffet {awesome} and so i was gonna give her ten bucks to gamble with, but the machine only gave me twenties so i gave her twenty, which kind of sucked but hey, i didn't have to pay for dinner. so anyway, that left me with twenty bucks, but sort of twenty bucks short. you with me? so i ended up with forty dollars and five cents on my ticket thingy and my mom gave me back ten bucks, so i really made about ten bucks and some change. which is awesome on account of they raised the damn ferry fare. 

assfaces. 

whatever. 

so, um, sorry that this isn't terribly interesting or funny or anything, i just thought that i would share with you my good fortune on account of yesterday i felt more like myself than i have in months which is a wonderful feeling. also, i hope to be participating in art soon. 

WOO!

buuut, my melatonin is sayin' 'HEY! come sleepzors you sleepysaurus rex!' so i better go. 

i leave you with this wisdom.

'her love for the stage is only outweighed with her love for gratuitous sex and violence.'

cheers!

~*~

DFTBA

thinking about space....

and it hit me just how much i don't, and might never, understand. wanna know how i got there?

well, i was watching n.c.i.s., like ya do, and mcgeek said something in response to a photograph of what he called 'the pillars of creation' and that super got my attention. i simply had to know what kind of awe-inspiring phenomenon had earned that epic and  beautiful title. if you don't know what it is, this is for you:

oh. my. gosh. 

so, the more technical term for this is the Eagle Nebula, but when this picture was taken by hubble it was titled 'the pillars of creation' for what i think are obvious reasons. you should definitely read up on it, because it's fascinating, or at least it is if you think learning is fun and the unknowable vastness of the universe interests you because you are a big nerd. 

guilty.

so anyway, this all got me thinking about all the stuff that i currently know about space. not a ton, let's be real, but i know some. and yet, when i read some of the stuff i read, my mind sort of goes kablooey. now, i am a relatively smart individual; 4.0, eagerness to learn; i'm not saying i'm a hermione or anything, i'm just saying i could probably get an E or an O on the old O.W.L.s. 

moving on.

so i was reading about stars, and guess what?! the stars that are sort of considered to be the farthest known and in the farthest known galaxies are about 13 billion light years away. which means, that if we are seeing them, then their light has traveled about 13 billion years and the universe is {supposedly} only just under 14 billion years old {something like 13.7 i think i read} and that means that that light has been traveling since the dawn of EVER. 95 percent of the time the universe has been a thing this beautiful incandescence has been traveling and we get to see it now with our new, baby species eyes. 

WHAT?!

another fun fact i like to think about is this:

this is an 'empty space' in the universe as viewed through a telescope {i think the hubble}. now this space is very far away and super tiny and we would only see it with our unaided eye as a black empty space. however, it contains a whole bunch of beautiful glowy stars, burning brightly, or even dead but we still see the light because we are so far away! WOAH. and whats more is that even in the places where there are not stars, the cracks in the boards if you will, there are these tiny subatomic particles always shifting and moving and creating and destroying and they are constantly in motion. it's a big bag of weird out there. 

side note: we have a cool subatomic particle example thing at the science center and the crazy shapes and things that they make are absolutely incredible. they kind of look like this, but without the colour:

and theeeeeen i started thinking about how much life could be sustained out there on an immeasurable number of celestial bodies. which sort of got me on this whole 'how dare we be so arrogant to think that our kind of life is the only really notable kind and the tiny stuff is just as important and people should care and we are sooooo not important enough or interesting enough for the space beings to even bother with' kind of kick. which, for me, can last a while and usually culminates in a certain degree of righteous anger {no exception here tonight} because i firmly believe that the reason people are so frightened of space aliens or whatever you want to call them is because we need to feel important enough that something so much bigger than ourselves would ever go out of its way simply to destroy us or interfere with us in any way {which is sort of the way i feel about god, but i won't get into that here}. we are the proverbial daisy in the field, cute enough to notice maybe, but not important enough to remember.

which is not to say that i don't think we are interesting and scientifically important beings, because i do, i just like to think i am not so arrogant about it. i am a mass of carbon. blood, tissues, bones. however, it is how i choose to spend my small and quick life and how i choose to make things better and help eliminate world suck and how i choose to use the crazy bundle of neurons i have been given that makes me an important piece of the big fucked up people puzzle.

and this got me thinking about art. well, me making art, to be more specific. 

this is an ancient greek theatre btw.

i am an actor, with a side of musician. and i have been out of university for half a year now and what with my working and having no time, i have not been able to create much art lately. i am living in a place that is not necessarily conducive to much music making, unless no one is home {and someone is always home} and i have no place to act or really work on my craft. because of this, i feel like that empty black space. i am full of bright, creative incandescence. i feel the push and pull and change of the subatomic particles of my ideas. but without the help of the proper equipment, these brilliant lights fade, evanescent, and soon even i almost cannot find them anymore.

i am fortunate to have fellow artists in my life {though not frequently enough} and there will be a get together in a couple of weeks to meet and do some reading and make some art happen and i really hope that this can be my telescope, my inspiration, my cosmic event, throwing the shrapnel of creation in a million different directions. what i wouldn't give to have something actually worth putting to music again. or to finish the play i seem to have been writing for what seems like 13 billion light years. i can't wait, and although a few weeks is hardly a blip on the radar of history, it feels like an eon.

in the mean time, the only creating i have really been doing is here on blogger, and i have been crocheting. 

a. lot. 

i made two pairs of arm warmers tonight. two. pairs. this pair and a pair of black and cobalt/purple ones. {the hat was made by my besty, clair} 

but all of this doesn't really do it for me because...well, i don't really know why. i haven't posted any music on my youtube channel in a very long time, and that makes me incredibly unhappy. being sick didn't help, but i am hoping to get to work on some things i've been toying with and hopefully have one finished and recordable by next week, or maybe even sunday. as is stands now though, things are looking pretty grim in corey town as far as creating goes. 

this punk rock dream machine needs to get back into gear and start taking over the world.  she needs to get back to being that beautiful celestial body she knows she can be. all she needs is a new galaxy to set on fire with her awesomeness. nbd.

have we digressed form our original focus? well, that's what it is like inside my head.

all. the. time.

and so, it is with the hope that you have been inspired to go learn that i now leave you, hoping also to be inspired myself. about many things. i know how awesome i am, and i think it's time the world did too. but i don't have to go it alone on this rock and roll rampage.

you wanna come?

~*~

DFTBA