thinking about space....

and it hit me just how much i don't, and might never, understand. wanna know how i got there?

well, i was watching n.c.i.s., like ya do, and mcgeek said something in response to a photograph of what he called 'the pillars of creation' and that super got my attention. i simply had to know what kind of awe-inspiring phenomenon had earned that epic and  beautiful title. if you don't know what it is, this is for you:

oh. my. gosh. 

so, the more technical term for this is the Eagle Nebula, but when this picture was taken by hubble it was titled 'the pillars of creation' for what i think are obvious reasons. you should definitely read up on it, because it's fascinating, or at least it is if you think learning is fun and the unknowable vastness of the universe interests you because you are a big nerd. 

guilty.

so anyway, this all got me thinking about all the stuff that i currently know about space. not a ton, let's be real, but i know some. and yet, when i read some of the stuff i read, my mind sort of goes kablooey. now, i am a relatively smart individual; 4.0, eagerness to learn; i'm not saying i'm a hermione or anything, i'm just saying i could probably get an E or an O on the old O.W.L.s. 

moving on.

so i was reading about stars, and guess what?! the stars that are sort of considered to be the farthest known and in the farthest known galaxies are about 13 billion light years away. which means, that if we are seeing them, then their light has traveled about 13 billion years and the universe is {supposedly} only just under 14 billion years old {something like 13.7 i think i read} and that means that that light has been traveling since the dawn of EVER. 95 percent of the time the universe has been a thing this beautiful incandescence has been traveling and we get to see it now with our new, baby species eyes. 

WHAT?!

another fun fact i like to think about is this:

this is an 'empty space' in the universe as viewed through a telescope {i think the hubble}. now this space is very far away and super tiny and we would only see it with our unaided eye as a black empty space. however, it contains a whole bunch of beautiful glowy stars, burning brightly, or even dead but we still see the light because we are so far away! WOAH. and whats more is that even in the places where there are not stars, the cracks in the boards if you will, there are these tiny subatomic particles always shifting and moving and creating and destroying and they are constantly in motion. it's a big bag of weird out there. 

side note: we have a cool subatomic particle example thing at the science center and the crazy shapes and things that they make are absolutely incredible. they kind of look like this, but without the colour:

and theeeeeen i started thinking about how much life could be sustained out there on an immeasurable number of celestial bodies. which sort of got me on this whole 'how dare we be so arrogant to think that our kind of life is the only really notable kind and the tiny stuff is just as important and people should care and we are sooooo not important enough or interesting enough for the space beings to even bother with' kind of kick. which, for me, can last a while and usually culminates in a certain degree of righteous anger {no exception here tonight} because i firmly believe that the reason people are so frightened of space aliens or whatever you want to call them is because we need to feel important enough that something so much bigger than ourselves would ever go out of its way simply to destroy us or interfere with us in any way {which is sort of the way i feel about god, but i won't get into that here}. we are the proverbial daisy in the field, cute enough to notice maybe, but not important enough to remember.

which is not to say that i don't think we are interesting and scientifically important beings, because i do, i just like to think i am not so arrogant about it. i am a mass of carbon. blood, tissues, bones. however, it is how i choose to spend my small and quick life and how i choose to make things better and help eliminate world suck and how i choose to use the crazy bundle of neurons i have been given that makes me an important piece of the big fucked up people puzzle.

and this got me thinking about art. well, me making art, to be more specific. 

this is an ancient greek theatre btw.

i am an actor, with a side of musician. and i have been out of university for half a year now and what with my working and having no time, i have not been able to create much art lately. i am living in a place that is not necessarily conducive to much music making, unless no one is home {and someone is always home} and i have no place to act or really work on my craft. because of this, i feel like that empty black space. i am full of bright, creative incandescence. i feel the push and pull and change of the subatomic particles of my ideas. but without the help of the proper equipment, these brilliant lights fade, evanescent, and soon even i almost cannot find them anymore.

i am fortunate to have fellow artists in my life {though not frequently enough} and there will be a get together in a couple of weeks to meet and do some reading and make some art happen and i really hope that this can be my telescope, my inspiration, my cosmic event, throwing the shrapnel of creation in a million different directions. what i wouldn't give to have something actually worth putting to music again. or to finish the play i seem to have been writing for what seems like 13 billion light years. i can't wait, and although a few weeks is hardly a blip on the radar of history, it feels like an eon.

in the mean time, the only creating i have really been doing is here on blogger, and i have been crocheting. 

a. lot. 

i made two pairs of arm warmers tonight. two. pairs. this pair and a pair of black and cobalt/purple ones. {the hat was made by my besty, clair} 

but all of this doesn't really do it for me because...well, i don't really know why. i haven't posted any music on my youtube channel in a very long time, and that makes me incredibly unhappy. being sick didn't help, but i am hoping to get to work on some things i've been toying with and hopefully have one finished and recordable by next week, or maybe even sunday. as is stands now though, things are looking pretty grim in corey town as far as creating goes. 

this punk rock dream machine needs to get back into gear and start taking over the world.  she needs to get back to being that beautiful celestial body she knows she can be. all she needs is a new galaxy to set on fire with her awesomeness. nbd.

have we digressed form our original focus? well, that's what it is like inside my head.

all. the. time.

and so, it is with the hope that you have been inspired to go learn that i now leave you, hoping also to be inspired myself. about many things. i know how awesome i am, and i think it's time the world did too. but i don't have to go it alone on this rock and roll rampage.

you wanna come?

~*~

DFTBA